Funny aviation stories.

[BerG]

It was Aliesha's first solo flight out of the Christchurch Control Zone.

She was nervous, real nervous. She was in the oldest, most dodgy Tomohawk, ESG.

On takeoff from Grass 02 she was told to fly straight out before turning to cross the main runway, as an ATR was landing behind her and may have needed to go-around.

As she gained height, tower cleared he for the right turn. "Cleared right turn, Echo Sierra Golf", she replied. The 20 of us or so sitting in the lounge, listening to the radio could still hear the static from her mic- her transmittor button was jammed, and she didn't know it.

We erupted in laughter and turned up the radio as we realised what was happening. This is the frequency used by all aircraft entering the control zone to land, and it was blocked.

But it got better from there, as she soon started talking to herself. "Ok I'm on a new brighten departure. Track Jellie Park 1500' or below. Ok I can see jellie park over there, and theres Russley, oh, f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k. Ok. <continued talking which I cant remember etc>

By this stage we were in hysterics in the lounge. Commercial jets coming in would tune in tower, only to hear some girl talking to herself. Fortunatly they have a backup frequency to use in this situation, but tower would not be happy.

It was amazing that it had gone on this long. I'd been in ESG many times and you can clearly hear a difference in static when the button is compressed and open, it had jammed on me a few times.

Anyway, she finally got to New Brighton, and made the call to tower. "Tower, Echo Sierra Golf is clear of the zone at New Brighton". Tower repiled "Echo Sierra Golf, Roger. And just to let you know your transmit button has been jammed for the past 10 minutes, but it's good to hear you've been enjoying yourself out there".

It was great.
____________

[ardypilot]

And just to let you know your transmit button has been jammed for the past 10 minutes, but it's good to hear you've been enjoying yourself out there".

Great story, but thats a bit mean of the tower isn't it? I thought they would have told her straight away as to keep the frequency clear for the other jets using it?

[kiwiflyboy]

if somebody is transmitting, only the person that is transmitting can be heard, happens a lot at ardmore.....

[Zöltuger]

This might be one of those "you just had to be there" stories, but here goes anyway:
I flew down to CHC/ZQN on Christmas Eve just past, from Auckland. It was the 0705 flight on Qantas, and there was an Air NZ flight also going to CHC/ZQN leaving just before us at 0700.

Our flight pretty much left on time. I suspect the ANZ flight left fractionally late because we were following it on the taxiway heading for RWY 23L. I've drawn a diagram to try to illustrate what happened next (apologies to towerguy and anyone else familiar with the NZAA layout for my drawing).



So what does our Qantas pilot do? He takes the first exit onto 23R and uses it to taxi to the active runway. In fact, his route is so much faster that my Qantas aircraft (red) actually arrives at the runway threshold before the Air NZ (blue) aircraft- almost like cutting him off on a motorway. I could see this happening at the time, so I was egging on our aircraft to take the initative and gun the throttles. Oh what I would have given to had my scanner on at the time, to hear the Air NZ pilots fuming at their lost position.

Sadly, for what ever reason, the ANZ aircraft took off first. Maybe the Qantas pilot realised that he was going to have to wait in Christchurch for more passengers even if he was early. Good start to my holiday nonetheless.

[BerG]

And just to let you know your transmit button has been jammed for the past 10 minutes, but it's good to hear you've been enjoying yourself out there".

Great story, but thats a bit mean of the tower isn't it? I thought they would have told her straight away as to keep the frequency clear for the other jets using it?

If one person is transmitting, no one else can transmit.

[Jimmy]

haha two great stories! thanks for posting guys, one questino thow, how could the tower tell the pilot with the jammed transmitter that they were still transm itin?! Did it unjam when they pressed the button again..

[Timmo]

Not so much a funny story but....
I think it was about my second solo flight so i was still a little twitchy....Now Whakatane is hardly a busy airport but as I was on base and turning for finals, the Eagle 1900D decides he wants to use the runway and turns to back-track 27

Very calmly I radioed (i had been watching him) 'Whakatane Traffic, Cessna Echo Juliet Yankee, Finals, Runway 27"...... a rather frantic call came back advising me they were on the active....err....yeah I can see that you so and so...

So, full power for a go around and a climbing left turn out to mid/late downwind position and then set myself up again for a landing....

Now, its possible that the Eagle Beech handnt heard my downwind call but I have a feeling he just wanted to keep his schedule and butted in in front of me.

Anyway, not too much of a drama as I had been watching him and there was heaps of room between us...and he did thank me for going around.

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger I guess

[kiwiflyboy]

Not so much a funny story but....
I think it was about my second solo flight so i was still a little twitchy....Now Whakatane is hardly a busy airport but as I was on base and turning for finals, the Eagle 1900D decides he wants to use the runway and turns to back-track 27

Very calmly I radioed (i had been watching him) 'Whakatane Traffic, Cessna Echo Juliet Yankee, Finals, Runway 27"...... a rather frantic call came back advising me they were on the active....err....yeah I can see that you so and so...

So, full power for a go around and a climbing left turn out to mid/late downwind position and then set myself up again for a landing....

Now, its possible that the Eagle Beech handnt heard my downwind call but I have a feeling he just wanted to keep his schedule and butted in in front of me.

Anyway, not too much of a drama as I had been watching him and there was heaps of room between us...and he did thank me for going around.

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger I guess

I would have just repositioned for the grass.....

[BerG]

haha two great stories! thanks for posting guys, one questino thow, how could the tower tell the pilot with the jammed transmitter that they were still transm itin?! Did it unjam when they pressed the button again..

Yeah it unjammed.

[Alex]

I would have just repositioned for the grass.....

5. Simultaneous operations on grass and paved runways prohibited.

From http://www.aip.net.nz/pdf/NZWK.pdf.

Alex

[kiwiflyboy]

with one aircraft taxiing, i would really call that an operation, to me operations on parallel runways would be aircraft landing and taking off at the same time, or in close succession, I have found that at smaller aerodromes (i.e.) not AA, CH or WN, larger aircraft (1900 etc) will line up and hold for 45 or so seconds completing pre-take off checks..... then roll.

[HardCorePawn]

I single handedly defeated the 'might' of the RNZAF one day...

was doing solo circuits at NZPM one day and some knuck in an aermacchi decides he wants to do a couple of TnG's... so here is me and about 3 or 4 other students flying circuits in cherokees and cessnas when knucklehead comes steaming in, in his fancy pants jet... Unfortunately for him, I was already on finals, and my little cherokee has an approach speed of around 60Kt...

The end result:

'Strike 12[1], going around'....

He actually blew right past me before I had even touched down! Tower tells me to extend TnG roll, to give him time to clear... but by the time the controller got the words out he was already gone as ge didnt actually bother getting back into the circuit... he just sodded off to Ohakea

[1]not the actual call sign... too many years and too many retired brain cells later and i cant for the life of me remember what it was

[squirrel350]

Removed

[ZK-Brock]

Meh, not much funny stuff happens at Nelson. 2 minor hapenings:

My sis and I were listening to NZ_DEL on 123.3 on Xmas eve. Across came in a hearty Texan Accent "Merry Xmas to all and to all a good night".

And of course there's the time when we got a flat tyre on the taxiway, and we could see all the enraged passengers staring us down out the window as they backtracked via the runway.

Yeah I know, not that funny

[flynz]

One time a friend of mine was flying his cessna 152 into Nelson from Paraparam. He was in a different aircraft from normal so while on finals to Nelson he accidently gave the wrong callsign then says over the radio "Oh s*** f*** wrong callsign" and he said the woman in the tower just laughed at him.

This one not so funny just stupid and dangerous. One time this same person went and filled up the plane with oil and then forgot to put the oil cap back on. After he had been up for a while his instructor came over the radio to him with a few swear words telling him someone had found the oil cap and he was to get down immediately. Ironically he was practicing engine failures at the time.

[ZK-Brock]

Haha very good flynz, the first one's class!

The 2nd one...well depends on whether you like your engines siezed up and with the many moving parts welding themsleves into place...pretty ironic about the engine failures tho hehe

[kiwiflyboy]

This one not so funny just stupid and dangerous. One time this same person went and filled up the plane with oil and then forgot to put the oil cap back on. After he had been up for a while his instructor came over the radio to him with a few swear words telling him someone had found the oil cap and he was to get down immediately. Ironically he was practicing engine failures at the time.

I know somebody who has done very similar, she took a 172 up, and came back down none the wiser, till i cam along after her and preflighted the a/c, opened the oil flap and noticed the dipstick was loose and covered with oil, at that point i noticed the nice stream of oil down the cowling, and sure enough only 3 and a bit quarts remaining.... told her instructor and he was not happy to say the least...... all I can say is she is a weapon! Also heard of several people forgetting to put fuel caps on securely, and one tank siphoning during flight....... many beers get bought for stupid things like that.....

[BerG]

Yeah. My mate and I were going off on a cross country for CPL. I left before him, and continued out of the Christchurch control zone heading south. Next minute I heard his first call to Ashburton Traffic. I continued on for a while, then after a few calls realised he hadn't made any more. I listened out on CHCH info as well as local traffic, but nothing.

I was quite concerned. Anyway I knew he was good and would have put out a call if he was in trouble, so continued on.

Later on I got back to the club, found out he had to turn around and re-enter the control zone to land after looking out the window and seeing fuel pouring out of his left wing- lost the cap. Haha, the fire brigade went out and found the cap on the main runway.

Gave him heaps for that one.

[kiwiflyboy]

First time i went into CHCH, there were 3 a/c from our school...... in auckland.... coming in from a night in hamner springs, i was first in.... cleared to land 02 grass, This was 6:30am..... second and third aircraft both cleared to land 02 grass, I landed properly and taxied to the pumps, as I was filling the aircraft the 2nd one came in, landed and taxied to the pumps also, as they were pulling up the 3rd a/c landed.... The controller was quick to come over the radio and say "ZK-*** (3rd a/c) that was a great landing, but you have actually landed on a taxi way," the 2 people that were pulling up in the 2nd a/c pissed themselves laughing and literally fell out laughing..... To cap it all off, we are all pretty sure the owner of our school was on short final for the seal in an Air NZ A320...... ooopppssssss.........

[BerG]

LOL