NZFF

Hi all,

I just found a funny aviation related article in Jigsaw Magazine, and I tought I should share it. I pasted the whole article:

"After every flight , pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mehanic problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sence of humor

(P: Problem logged by pilot)
(S : Solution and action taken by the engineer)

P: Left inside tire almost needs replacment
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre

P: Test flight OK, except aouto-land very rough
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

P: Something loose in the cockpit
S: Something tightened in the cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back-order

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed

P: DME volume unbelievably loud
S: DME volume set to more believable level

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
S: That's what they're there for

P: IFF inoperative
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

P: Suspected crack in windshield
S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing
S: Engine found on the right wing after breaf search

P: Aircraft handles funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

P: Target radar hums
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics "

These still make me laugh I think I first read them in an RAF magazine when I got to my first posting at Brize Norton back in '96........... I suspect they'd been around a while even then

Heard a good one from the Eagle engineers the other day.
One of the toilets was not flushing, the engineer fixed the problem and wrote:
Successful dump carried out satis.

Apparently the maintenance controller was not amused.

Nice one I read about these in an email but the title of it was Qantas Flight Problems.

Still quite funny every time I read them.
There's a few versions of this floating around - here's another joke:
P: Mouse loose in cockpit
S: Cat installed