Pilots Notes

[boldpilot]

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull
the stick back, they get smaller.
That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then
they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than
up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep
the pilot cool. When it stops,
you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which
they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power
to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the
angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival,
small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking
about might be another aeroplane
going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that
mountains have been known to
hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landing you make equal to the
number of takeoffs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what these are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag
of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round
and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour,
the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the
experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as
much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's
not subject to repeal.

[Jimmy]

all of them in one nice long list, perfect

no matter how many times you hear these, in their differant forms, always so funny

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag
of luck.

now theres one I haven't heard before

Thanks boldpilot.. hmm is that old bold pilot too, or just bold pilot? hehe hows it go, something like "there are old pilots, there are bold pilot, but there are no old bold pilots" lol

James

[ZK-TJL]

Classic!!!! Good stuff Boldpilot . Here's a hand full of ATC jokes I posted some time back http://z11.invisionfree.com/nzff/index. ... topic=2779 have a look at these ones. Thanks for sharing

[Kelburn]

I have to say that there were some real good ones there.

Also welcome to NZFF

[boldpilot]

Thanks for the welcome guy's .For the record I am an old and bold pilot and some days get more bolder than others . I don't know any female pilots either .Cheers

[towerguy]

please don't stir up the ATC jokes! - I have to work with some of them tomorrow.

[jastheace]

another one to add,

so far mankind has a perfect record in aviation, we haven't left one up there yet!
(source unknown)